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Practically Soothing
Head-Cleaning Suggestions
for older teens and adults
for Worried, Frayed Nerves
in Modern-Day Times
of Terror-type Stresses
remember, you can put things out of your mind. All of us can do this. No one could function even a little if they worried about every possible danger. All of us have the capacity to put dangers out of our minds to some extent. It's not a conscious thing we do. Our unconsciousness does it. When frightening events occur, we focus on danger and it seems sometimes hard then to get it out of mind.
Optimal functioning requires an ability to relax while under relatively safe circumstances - during periods during which everything that can reasonably be done has been done - with our minds ready to immediately jump to alert status if danger signals occur.
You can facilitate your own unconsciousness's ability to do this - to put away the worry about terrorism and war with the other possible worries that you don't think about hour to hour.
First, recognize that you aren't in any more danger than you were, you are only more aware of it. And acknowledge to yourself that being more aware, and others being more aware, means you are able to be safer than you actually were prior to 9-11.
helpful
head-cleaners hypnosis tapes & CDs
are we asleep yet, too?
For problems getting to sleep, getting back to sleep & nighttime anxiety, worry & stress.
healing tree 2
For adjustment to loss and/or change, stress relief & stress, management, worry, anger management, depression, anxiety, nervousness, sleeplessness.
now to how to soothe out angst
For soothing out angst (a persistent, gloomy, anxious feeling). For establishing a sense of hope and a sense of faith in one's self and one's life.
performance 2
For general anxiousness and anxiety, intrusive & bothersome thoughts, self-consciousness, performance anxiety, test anxiety, stage fright, worry, stress, depression.
relax... relax
For anxiety, relaxation & difficulties being comfortable with relaxing.
self to self partnering
For the "self-esteem-ally" challenged -- individuals who struggle with lack of faith in themselves, self-directed anger, etc.
head-cleaners hypnosis tapes/CDs
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Second, simply remind yourself that you are able to put dangers out of mind without forgetting them altogether and putting yourself in danger. Remind yourself that before 9-11, you weren't excessively worried about asteroids that may hit the earth, muggers, gangs, terrorists, whimsical economic downturns, troubles in the Middle East, the eventual collapse of the universe, the possibility of catching a life-threatening form of the measles, or the possibility of space garbage falling on your house. And remind yourself that though such dangers are usually out of mind, you don't mindlessly go into dangerous neighborhoods without remembering the dangers, you don't visit a sick friend without asking yourself about contagion dangers, and you're not likely to open an envelope that has a powdery substance without an alarm going off in your mind.
Finally, acknowledge that it is a simple fact of life that we function best if we acknowledge what we can't do anything about and set aside worry about those things while there is nothing to do. This way we have maximum resources for figuring out things that we can do something about.
Setting aside a worry doesn't mean that it won't pop into mind. It means that each time it does, one can ask one's self if the situation should be re-thought or if it should just be set back aside. Being able to set aside worry -- at least for several hours at a stretch -- is a skill that be developed with practice. Putting a thought out of mind is a task similar to trying to get a wheel out of a rut when driving. One needs to simply keep correcting as the wheel slides back into the rut -- until the wheel finally comes out. The ability to put thoughts aside is a practice-able skill.
Divide your worries up into things you can do something about and things that you can't do anything about. Resolve to set aside the worries you can't do anything about. Resolve that except for every once in awhile you will respond to worries by actively trying to think about something more positive whenever the worries pop into mind. |
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remember, you have survived everything that life has thrown at you. Remember that you have survived everything you've ever faced. (Granted, sometimes you may not have survived as well as you wanted, but the point is that you did survive.)
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remember, you are from a long line of people that survived world wars, famines, plagues, mad leaders, earthquakes, tornados, hurricanes, wild animals, the randomness of life and the mistakes of well meaning people. You are the descendant of people who survived many millenia of times much more terror-filled than these. They survived and their children survived. They got tough when the going got tough and made it through. You are of hearty stock.
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remember, you can have faith that it will be okay. Be at peace with the image of yourself in 100 years time. If there is no afterlife, then no matter what happens, you won't care one way or another after you die. Be at peace with your life, be at peace with your adventure, be at peace with whatever fate has in store. If there is an afterlife, it will probably matter more how you handled your faith in yourself and had faith in a Higher Power than it will matter how many toys or goodies you were able to get.
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tune in your senses to love and affection and the beautiful aspects of your life and the world. Though, yes, the good things in life and experience are sometimes fleeting, everything is ultimately fleeting except for what you capture in your mind and memory.
Live every day as though it might be one of your last or might be one of many, many. Enjoy the adventure, comedy and drama of every day of life. You knew you would die someday. Remember that the best you can do is not let yourself focus on your death until it happens. Enjoy what you have and wait till you lose it to mourn losing it.
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play with perspectives -- see how many ways there are to look at things. Usually there are ways to look at things that feel much better than others. Reality is a multifacetted thing. There is no one reality to anything. Look at it one way and life sucks. Look at it another and life is a challenging thrill ride. Both perspectives are real and both are available to you to choose from.
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"Braveheart" In the movie "Braveheart" the main character points out on at least two occassions that nobody gets to choose whether they die or not. They can choose, however, how they live. This a really empowering perspective to the extent that you can wrap your brain around it. It is helpful to be a bit anxious about dying -- so you don't do silly or stupid careless things and get yourself dead prematurely. On the other hand, though, too much is too much. To be anxious about dying to the extent that it diminishes your life is folly -- it is giving in to a biologically programmed fear that is there to keep you alive so you can have and raise offspring. Giving in to it is silly. Nobody can keep from dying but many people keep themselves from living. Watch the movie.
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