| effective, enhancing logical, practical strategies for empowerment, self-control, relaxation & hope |  | dr. j's head-cleaners shrink rap & shrink think for practical, powerful healing & hope |
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being down in the dumps when it seems you are stuck in a negative muck 
all sorts of info on negativity hypnosis tapes & CDs for negativity  When seriously bummed and progressively numbed One can get into a very hurting, very angry, very hopeless place in the mind. Hurt, anger and hopelessness can become a global attitude -- where being down in the dumps feels like an inescapable reality. This often or usually comes packaged together with a passive acceptance of emotional pain that makes one feel very depressed and hopeless, but also quite comfortably numb. It can also come with a little inner voice that seems to promise that this is good -- being this way. It can seem that being so hurt and negative and hopeless can be sort of good in some twisted way because it feels like your pain may just teach somebody a lesson. It can seem that your negativitity will teach people a lesson and issues may be resolved if you just stay bummed and let yourself become even more numbed. And this numbed negativity can last and slowly worsen for an hour, a day, a week, a month, a year... (going down... going down... going down...) Comfortably bummed doesn't mean it ain't dumb (in other words, comfortably numb is simply quite dumb) Feeling passive, apathetic and weirdly comfortable being bummed out is not mentally healthy place to be. Yes, there is a sort of twisted comfort. But it isn't good. And it's silly to let yourself think of yourself as a sacrificial statement. It's silly because the people you might want to learn a lesson from your pain won't learn any lessons. And issues won't be resolved. Being comfortable numb helps if you are falling out of an airplane and you have no parachute. In free fall with no help or hope in sight, numb is good -- there is nothing to do but be numb and wait till even that is over. But if you are not falling out of an airplane without a parachute -- and if it is not the case that there is nothing in the world to do but wait for it all to be over -- then comfortably numb is quite likely dumb. Dumb. Comfortably numb, when there are things to be done, is really quite dumb. |
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Cole: Why do you go on living? How can you stand being what you are? Ripley: Not much choice. Alien: Resurrection, 1997
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When comfortably numb, it's just damn hard to run Okay, it needs to be faced. Then it needs to be stopped. It needs to be stopped and the little voice needs to be overpowered -- the little voice that tries to erase with whispers the thought of "biting the bullet" and making a turn in direction and getting to work on getting positive. So you need to run the other way. And that's easier said than done. But there are things to do that can help. Imagine a future where you feel very good about yourself and you accept criticism with grace because you know you're quite "cool." The future will come. Act "as if" you feel confident, comfy and cool. Behave as if you feel at one with the Cosmos. Act as if you could use the Force, Luke. The reality will come. Pledge to yourself that you're going to treat yourself in a practical, positive manner -- even if it feels somewhat alien.
Treat yourself fairly and supportively like a very good friend, not how you'd treat a pain-in-the-ass. When you feel yourself feeling badly, ask yourself what you would say and do for a friend in your shape. (Don't do what you feel like doing for or to yourself if it isn't what you would do for or to a good friend.) Recognize that the little voice inside that seems to lobby for the calm acceptance of negativity is really coming from an angry, hurt, illogical inner-child-type place and the goal of being better cared for just is not going to be achieved via negativity. Note alternative perspectives is the name of the game whether one is going to focus on feeling badly or feeling good. One of the major ways that negative slumps are maintained is by focusing in on negative perspectives. The machinery is just as applicable in a positive, feeling good direction. If you know you have the mental machinery, you know it is just a matter of getting used to redirecting it -- the same tools used with a different focus. If you focus on the most positive perspectives, you can feel productive and functional. Positive perspectives are equally "real" but, where negative perspectives bring deepening depression, positive perspectives bring a sense of self-acceptance, life, happiness and well-being. In this, one would define "positive" as being in one's best interests and most likely to lead to long term happiness and well-being. Have some faith that there is some sort of Higher Power running the Cosmos and that there is a Plan and any crap in life you cannot avoid is part of the Plan and part of your Purpose. (There is pretty much as much evidence that this is true as there is that it is not. It could be debated whether there is a bit more evidence of yes or of no. If you choose to believe there is a Higher Power and Plan, when you die you won't ever realize you were wrong.) Mind, this doesn't mean one couldn't always try to get things to happen the way one wants them to. The issue is what to do with the things that must be endured and not ducked. For the unduckable pains and dangers, you can have faith that it means you are on God's hit-list or faith that you are in God's Good Graces and getting experiences and challenges you need for the Plan. And maybe pray a prayer to apologize for doubting the Boss. Reach out for help when it's needed. There are good counselors. There are good meds. There are good friends. Reach out and get what help you need. Deal with such slumps like they're bumps in life's road and assume you can improve your skills for getting past them more and more adeptly (all other things being equal) with each experience dealing with a deep slump. Do what seems practical, not what you feel when you feel one way and think another. Feelings are very primitive and often impractical information systems. The mammals and other critters that don't have cognitive abilities or language to manipulate ideas must operate on feelings. Humans can also think things through. That makes for a lot of conflicts between messages from different systems, but when such systems collide, I vote for logic and practicality over feelings and reflex. Exercise a little. Get your heart beating and your blood moving. Eat a little something. Your body needs nutrients for your brain to work. This doesn't mean go get emotional nurturance from the fridge. Overeating can contribute to lethargy and can make getting out of a slump very difficult.
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