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"I'm having dreams that seem to be warning me against flying." question I'm suppose to be getting on a plane in 2 weeks to Florida.. but im too afraid because of my fear! I mean i have dreams about me being on a plane and it crashing in a body of water! How do i overcome this fear?? and would you get on a plane if you were having these dreams?? [Usually I answer emails via email and then put the answers up on the website. In this case the email answer was returned as undeliverable due to blocking services that refused it.] answer In these times when news programs are trying to keep people as frightened as possible so they stay tuned and with hurricanes happening on a weekly basis a lot of people are having these kinds of fears. Florida, of course, is a big target of a lot of the water news so it is normal to be having such thoughts, especially about Florida. I would get on the plane, yes, because I am a psychologist and I know that if I run from the fear it will be severely intensified if I don't. You don't overcome the fear by running from it. You overcome it by facing it. If there is a purpose to life I think it must have something to do with conquering fears. If there is no purpose to life and you die in two weeks, you won't regret missing a few more years. If there is a purpose to life and you die in two weeks, you will probably be glad you faced the fear and didn't make it worse -- which might cause you bigger problems in the long run. Nobody knows what life is about but what we do know is that the best you can ever do by avoiding a danger is postpone your death. You can't avoid it. In the movie Braveheart, the Mel Gibson character makes a great speech to an army about to run from a fight, telling them that if they run they will probably spend whatever days they gain just wishing they could turn back the clock and face their fears because simply postponing death for a few months and making yourself feel like a whimp may not be much of a good deal. If you go to your doctor and ask, you can get yourself some valium -- or some other tranquilizer -- to take just before getting on the plane. If you want to try my hypnosis CD for flying fears, it may help a lot, too. But the first step is to decide whether you are going to fly or not. If you decide not, then just decide it and don't make a monster big deal out of it -- that will only mess with your self esteem. Avoiding flying won't help you avoid dying. You won't be able to keep from dying, no matter what you do. No matter how hard you try. And, no matter what you do, people will be dying all around you as you get older. You need to get used to the idea of death. Find a way to have some faith that death will either end all your worries or will bring the next stage of life -- either way is good if you look at it from the proper perspective. If it is about nothing, then you have nothingness to look forward to. And if life does mean something, then these huge fears and hurdles we face must be part of the purpose, and dealing with them is part of the individualized program that is set for each of us. You have a big challenge ahead of you. Do your best and have faith in yourself and faith in the idea that your best is all you are supposed to be able to do. And, you might also note that you are in way more danger in a car than you will be in a plane. If you are able to hop into a car and not a plane, that tells you all this fear stuff is just a mind game you are running on yourself. Turn it around. Notice that the message of the dream -- you think -- is that you are going to crash and die. Notice that that is just part of the dream. You are not paying attention to the fact that the dream was that you would crash and die AND THEN WAKE UP. So if the dream is telling you you are going to crash and die, it is also telling you that you will wake up from that alive. If dreams do tell the future and have mystical qualities, that means the life is a mystical quality type experience. You will be fine. Dr. Johnson
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